What do you do if you’re sitting at your desk, minding your own business, and an irate caller disturbs your peaceful day?  Customer service representatives are experts at neutralizing angry people, and they suggest acknowledging the caller’s frustration and listening without interrupting.  If you get defensive or sound annoyed, you'll fuel her fire, but if you let her vent for a few minutes and don’t allow her to engage you, she’ll eventually cool off.  Even if your ears are burning, try not to revert to these common but ineffective responses:

“Calm down” – this is bound to elicit the response “Don’t tell me to calm down!”

“That’s not my fault” – whether true or not, the angry person will not appreciate hearing you deny responsibility.  He is looking for your help.

“You’re way out of line” – needless to say, this will just make the situation uglier.

“If you just hold on, I’ll transfer you to-” – this lack of urgency and personal ownership will just irritate her more. She wants YOU to come up with an action plan NOW.

The key point is worth repeating.  Remain calm.  People don’t want to argue with themselves. Empathize with her problem and try not to take accusations personally, even if they are directed specifically at you.  Show that you’re eager to do whatever it takes to remedy the situation, and then follow through.  You’ll derive some satisfaction from the fact that you turned an unhappy person’s day around, and plus you won’t have to explain to your colleagues why you got into a screaming match on the phone!