I just love this post from Pamela Slim over at Escape from Cubicle Nation.  The topic is talking about your career with your family over the holidays, and how to deal when your relatives don’t necessarily understand your plans.  Pam says:

Finding out which career or business best matches your life is really hard work. You have to do soul searching, research, training and address personal fears all while working full-time in your day job.  Just when it seems like you get total clarity and incredible motivation to make some positive change in your life, you are faced with the task of talking about it with your family.  And if you are like normal people everywhere, this can sometimes be a challenging and emotionally charged experience.

Try as we might, it is so hard to break the stereotypes that our relatives have about us based on what they saw when we were growing up. “You could never stick to one thing, Martha, you were always distracted in your studies” or “Bob, how in the world could you start your own business?  Remember how painfully shy you were in high school?”  Even if they don't come right out and say it, you can often feel their disapproval based on their body language or tone of voice.

My whole life, I always wanted to please my dad, so when I left my full time PR job to become a writer, I was always thinking about how I could best position it to him.  It was so important to me that my dad think I was successful, and smart, and making the right choices regarding my career.  It took me a few years to realize that I was the one who had to live my life every day, not him, and that he would be proud of me for who I am, not just my external accomplishments.  Eventually, having confidence in myself led my father to have confidence in me as well.

But back to those dreaded holiday conversations.  Pam says that you won’t convince your family you have outgrown certain traits, so stop trying. If you get too frustrated in a conversation, smile and change the subject quickly. The worst thing you can do is argue your point. Show results by your actions!