An online friend of mine scored a great gig as a columnist for a popular portal site, but has recently had to cope with negative comments that readers are posting after her pieces.  Some of the comments contain nuggets of constructive criticism that my friend can keep in mind for future columns, but others don’t add much to the conversation except for unfounded complaints and bitter, irrelevant observations.  

While I know that my friend is not universally happy about this response, I’m actually impressed.  Why?  Because the fact that close to 100 people have commented on her column, and more than 200 people have rated it, shows that she has arrived.  It means that people are paying attention to what she has to say, and are listening.  If she wasn’t writing something that resonated with people, for good or bad, they wouldn’t bother to rate or comment on the piece.  The Internet is full of writers and bloggers who put their stuff out there and get no response because no one cares.

My grandmother used to say that “if everyone likes you, then nobody likes you.”  I’ve found this to be true in business and in life.  If you never say or do anything provocative, then no one will criticize you, but no one will say you made an impact either.  The only way to avoid answering to critics is to go through your day passively, being wishy-washy about your opinions and refusing to take a stand on anything.  People will like you all right, but they won’t necessarily respect you or think you have anything of value to offer.

Since my first book was published in late 2004, I’ve gotten a few dozen e-mails blasting me for my ideas on what twentysomethings need to do to survive in the corporate world.  While I might feel hurt by the mean-spirited ones sometimes, I make an effort to read and respond to every message.   If the writer makes a good point, then I acknowledge it and put the new information in my back pocket.  If not, then I just archive the e-mail and remind myself that for every naysayer, there is at least one person out there who has been helped by my advice.  And that means that I’m making the difference in the way I wanted to when I first decided to write about my workplace experiences in public.