The customer’s always right.  This is the mantra that customer service representatives have to repeat to themselves every day – if they want to keep their jobs.  But what happens when you come into contact with a particularly angry customer, who is determined to give you a piece of her mind?  When I was writing They Don’t Teach Corporate in College, I interviewed my friend Jan, who spends all day on the phones handling customer calls for a Fortune 500 telecommunications company.  Jan provided me with some very useful advice for getting someone who is out of control to get a grip and proceed rationally.

Says Jan:  the best thing you can do is acknowledge the person’s anger and listen attentively without interrupting.  Think of a little kid in time out.  If you let her vent, she’ll eventually quiet down.  Don’t respond with defensiveness or annoyance.  Show empathy for her predicament and assure her that you’ll make it your business to fix the situation.  Jan also clued me in on some things not to say:            

•  “Calm down” – this is bound to elicit the response “Don’t tell me to calm down!”
• “That’s not my fault” – whether true or not, the angry person will not appreciate hearing you deny responsibility.  He is looking for your help.
• “You’re way out of line” – needless to say, this will just prolong the argument.
• “If you just hold on, I’ll transfer you to-” – this lack of urgency and personal ownership will annoy the angry person.  He wants you to come up with an action plan now.

The key point, advises Jan, is to remain calm.  If she’s not able to engage you in an argument, she’ll eventually stop fighting.  People can’t be pissed off by themselves for long.  Your even temper will diffuse her anger and then the two of you can work together to solve the problem.  And let’s not forget about the fact that this type of response will make you look better to the colleagues and supervisors in your office who are pretending not to listen to the confrontation.