A lot of my friends have trouble making decisions, and it's something that impacts both their personal and professional lives. I’ve never known how to help them until I saw this great post from blogger extraordinaire Steve Pavlina.  Steve says that decisions are tough because they involve one or more unknowns.  We can’t know in advance what the consequences of each alternative will be. 

Usually what people do in such situations is freeze.  Even when you don’t like what you have, you may worry that the alternatives are worse.  In a way every decision involves a choice between maintaining the status quo vs. making a change.  When we can’t be certain a change will work out for the better, by default we stay put.

Steve provides a simple method of making these kinds of decisions.  For each alternative you’re considering, ask yourself, “Is this really me?”  What you’re asking is whether each path is a fair expression of who you truly are.  To what degree does each option reflect the real you?  Steve says that when we look at choices as being more than just paths — as being creative statements of self-expression — certain decisions become much easier to make.  You may say to yourself, “This path isn’t going to be easy, but I know this is the right way to go because it’s who I am.”  Or you may conclude, “No matter how I try to represent this to myself, I know that deep down this isn’t who I am.  This just isn’t me.”

It’s very important to separate this evaluation step from the act of summoning the courage to act on this knowledge.  It’s okay to acknowledge you’re in a place you don’t want to be, even when you lack the ability to do anything about it right now.  The courage to act comes later. Here are some ways you can apply this method:

• Is this job really me?
• Is being an employee (or entrepreneur or investor or business owner) really me?
• Is this relationship really me?
• Is this house really me?
• Is this shirt/dress/tie really me?
• Is this friend really me?
• Is this food really me?
• Is this habit really me?
• Is this religious belief really me?
• Is this level of fitness really me?

Notice that you can apply “Is this really me?” to decisions both big and small.  This is something you can use every day, even when you’re just deciding what groceries to buy.

When making decisions via the “Is this me?” method, you’re using an idealized version of yourself for the comparison.  This is your best self.  It’s who you are in your dreams and goals, who you want to be.  What happens when you begin to fill your life with people, places, and objects that reasonably reflect your true self?  By osmosis you’ll begin to take on more of those qualities yourself. 

Thanks, Steve, this is the best advice I’ve heard in a long time!