People sometimes ask me how to sustain better relationships with the people in their lives.  My #1 suggestion is something that, unfortunately, several people I love fall down on regularly.  It’s this: when it comes to your relationship with your co-worker, friend, or significant other – pull your weight.

This means that if someone e-mails you, reply.  If they call you every now and then to see how you’re doing, respond in kind.  If they ask you to grab a drink after work or check out the new museum exhibit downtown, maybe think about pinging them the next time you’re looking for something to do.

Some believe that just because they respond positively to another’s overtures, that’s enough.  It isn’t.  People don’t want to feel that you’re talking to them, or hanging out with them, out of convenience.  They don’t want to believe that if they stopped taking all the initiative, they’d never see you again.  They want to know that you care enough about the relationship to think about it on your own and ACT, without constantly being prodded. 

You might say that you’re just too busy.  Well, we’re all busy, but at the end of the day, people make the time to do what they want to do.  It’s all a matter of priorities, and your co-workers, friends, and significant others know it.  The truth is, with all of the means we have of getting in touch these days – phoning, texting, IM’ing, even posting messages on Facebook – it really isn’t that hard to let the people in your life know that you’re thinking about them.

Workplace friendships in particular can develop into some of the most meaningful relationships in your life, but you have to be willing to put in a little effort beyond just saying hello in the hall or eating lunch together in the cafeteria.  If you decide it’s not worth it to you, that’s fine, but if it is, don’t let relationship laziness get the better of you.