Scot Herrick over at Cube Rules is doing a great series of 30 career management tips.  I especially liked the post this week on watching what people at work do more than what they say.  Scot tells the following story:

“My father, when I was very young, told me something that has worked well throughout my life. We were driving along the Chippewa River, three blocks from my father’s law office and he told me that you can listen to what people say, but it is far more important to watch what they actually do and act accordingly.  My favorite story on this was when I started working with a manager at the beginning of my career. On our initial meeting after I was hired, he specifically told me that it was really important to come to him not with just a problem, but with potential solutions.  We’ve all heard that, right? 

So that’s what I did. Every time I went into his office with an issue, I’d always have figured out 2-3 ways that the problem could be addressed and all we needed to do was figure out which way was the right way to attack this one.  Imagine my surprise, then, come review time when I was chastised for ‘always having the answer’ to an issue and ‘cutting my manager out of the decision making process’ when I came to him with a problem! Just like he asked me to do!  So the first time I had an issue that I needed help with after the review, I supplicated myself to the wisdom of my manager.  It was like the world changed. Now my manager could grandly suggest different alternatives, debate with himself on the merits of each, and then come to a conclusion for me to go and implement.”

Like most people who routinely give career advice, I too would normally suggest that Scot approach his manager exactly the way he did at first, and I feel that his story goes to the heart of a critical truth about workplace relationships.  There is no standard operating procedure, and if you want to get along with your boss and colleagues, it’s important to assess what’s really important to each one of them and then behave appropriately.  Scot’s father is right: people’s actions often speak louder than their words, and human beings are known for being contradictory.  What’s great about Scot’s response in this situation is that he was able to pick up on his boss’s true nature and adapt his response to be more effective with the guy.  This is a skill that takes years to develop, and unfortunately there’s no better way to learn than to find yourself faced with one of those “difficult” people.