The other night, I was watching a re-run of an episode of Wife Swap.  I’ve seen this show before, and more often than not one of the characters is a stay-at-home-mom who acts very self-righteous about the fact that it is her job to take care of her children, and that it’s not appropriate to allow anyone else to be involved.

I’ve noticed this attitude among stay-at-home-moms on the message boards at Baby Center too.  Someone will come on and ask for some innocent advice about hiring a nanny, or the idea that her husband might stay at home so that she can work, and many SAHMs will attack her as if they take personal offense that another woman would make a different choice in caring for her children.

We all love our children, and no matter how you go about raising them, there are sacrifices involved.  Women and men who work full-time see their kids less often.  Those who don’t have to get by on much less money and must sometimes appeal to the government for assistance.  There is no perfect solution, and it seems to me that the real sin is in believing that your way is the only right way, and in vocally judging those who select a divergent path. 

While my husband and I have flexible schedules, we both have careers that we care deeply about.  We cherish the time spent with our son, but we don’t feel that good parenting requires 24/hour a day surveillance.  Other parents may not agree, and that’s their prerogative.  We won’t criticize them, and we ask for the same courtesy in return.