My friend Pam Slim over at Escape from Cubicle Nation has a great post on how to tread the fine line between expressing admiration for someone and fan worship.  Straight from the ECN blog are 4 “fan traps” to avoid.  I’ve been known to do some of these things in my interactions with bestselling authors, and people who haven’t yet broken into publishing have done them with me.  Also included for your reference are helpful alternatives.

• You are the best and I worship you!  There’s nothing wrong with telling someone how great they are, as long as you say it sincerely and with no ulterior motive.  The problem is when you continually gush in each subsequent conversation.  It gets uncomfortable and tiresome for them and gets in the way of good conversation for you.  Alternative:  You are the best and I worship you.  Now that that's out of the way, let's get to know each other.  Have you read this book?

• I am a nobody.  In an attempt to be humble, you may write "I don't mean to bother you with my message, since I know you are doing great things and I am a nobody."  This is rubbish.  We are all equal.  Some people have accomplished a lot in their lives, written great works, sculpted strong glutes, or whatever you consider noteworthy.  But this does not make them a superior human being.  You can have admiration for someone while still being proud of who you are.   Alternative:  You are very cool, and so am I in my own right. (Don't use those words of course, but convey it in your attitude, conversation and body language, if meeting in person).

• Nice to meet you!  Please, oh please, will you be my mentor? Think about the current mentors in your life.  Did you like and trust them immediately?  Or did your relationship grow with time and work and mutual support?  Sometimes in your desire to learn as much as you can from people you admire, you ask them for specific support and guidance without having any consideration for their time.  A favorite is "you are an expert in my field, would you mind reviewing my 20-page business plan?"  Alternative: Respect your own time and that of busy people.  Mentors grow naturally, they are not manufactured. 

• You can do no wrong.  Everyone screws up. Sometimes we overlook glaring faults because of our cult-like devotion to the image of a person we admire.  This is not helpful to you or to them.   Alternative:  When someone you admire does something you don't agree with, let them know in a kind and straightforward way.  "I really admire your business sense.  But your latest advertising partnership with Stomp Bunnies and Puppies LLC seems really out of sync with who you are.  What is your rationale for this decision?"

Kudos to Pam for bringing up a rarely-discussed but critical facet of successful networking!